Porters Memorial Site

March 21, 2009 Olney Cemetery, Pendleton Oregon
Final Burial with a speech from Porter's Great Great Aunt Janet
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April 5, 2008 Heritage Funeral Home, Spokane WA
         Pastor Virtus Young
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Porter's great x5 grandfather Abram Miller settled on the area known today as Pendleton Oregon in the early 1800's. He later sold the land to Moses Goodwin for a span of horses after several years of flooding crops and harsh winters. Since that time, generation after generation of Porter's family have been laid to rest in the Pendleton Cemetery with the earliest family member buried in 1803. Porter's grandmother Kathy Howard (Becky's mother) was buried in the Pendleton Cemetery in March of 2007. Porter is now buried next to his grandmother (and someday parents) for all eternity.

As we meet here today we are surrounded by so many departed members of our family. Some of them have left us so recently that our minds can scarcely bear to go there. While still others have been gone so long that they are to us only the faintest memories and some not even that. Yet each of them is somehow connected to us, and like us, once came here to leave a beloved family member.

I hope you are comforted as I have always been to know the ones I love are here among them. I hope it helps you to know that Porter will rest close beside his beloved Grandmother, Kathy, and be surrounded by generations of mothers and fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins stretching back and back in time; and to know that there will be other children nearby as well. Over there is little Sherman, and Great-Grandmother Davis's baby girl, while close by is tiny Diane, and my parents beloved son, Marvin Louis Roy, Jr.

Our family members have been coming to this place generation after generation. When my mother was one of them mourning her loss, she wrote this poignant poem that now reaches across time to express my thoughts as I remember her.

Dear one, if I could hear your voice
Could talk with you again,
Of many things or anything
To ease grief's lasting pain

Perhaps I wouldn't say a word
Content that you were near,
If only you could just return
A little while, my dear.

Yes, there is sadness here, but for me this is not an unhappy place. Instead I have always thought of it as somewhere to rekindle loving memories, a gentle and friendly place to be. I hope with all my heart that it will be so for you.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

“I’ll lend you for a little while
A child of mine,” God said
for you to love the while he lives,
And mourn for when he’s dead.
It may be six or seven years
Or forty two or three.
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for me?

He’ll bring his charms to gladden you
And – (should his stay be brief) –
You’ll have his lovely memories
As a solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return;
But there are lessons taught below
I want this child to learn.
I’ve looked the whole world over
In my search for teachers true
And from the things that crowd life’s lane
I have chosen you.

Now will you give him all your love?
Not think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take
This Lent Child back again?”

I fancied that I heard them say –
“Dear Lord, Thy will be done
For all the joys Thy Child will bring
The risk of grief we’ll run.
We will shelter him with tenderness,
We’ll love him while we may
And for the happiness we’ve known
Forever grateful stay.

But should Thy angels call for him,
Much sooner than we’ve planned,
We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand.”

- Author Unknown

We did a single balloon release to send our thoughts to Porter. While the balloon traveled upwards a group of birds flew by. They appeared somewhat interested in the balloon, but the majority of the flock continued on their way. A lingering bird stayed and circled the balloon as it traveled higher into the sky. We all watched as the bird and balloon danced against the clouded sky. Once the balloon climbed too high for the bird, they parted ways. It was a magnificent sight as we all watched in silence.

A light from our household gone,
A voice we loved is stilled,
A place is vacant in our home,
That can never be filled.

Lonely is the home without you,
Life to us is not the same;
All the world would be like heaven,
If we could have you back again.

May the God of love and mercy,
Care for our loved on who is gone,
And bless with consolation,
Those left to carry on.

"All Done, No More" ~ Porter Rudd, 2008